Dating is truly difficult! From the mind games, to the mixed signals, to the uncertainty of the future- dating can feel like a horrible chore, and a gamble that you really don’t know your odds with.
When you know you’ve found the right person, it all makes sense and falls into place. But until that happens though, don’t try to force the current person you’re dating, into being the right person- because it won’t work out, and you will get hurt.
Here are some signs that your relationship is not meant to last (and although I use the pronoun ‘he’, this can definitely apply to women too!).
1) He never gives you definite answers. If you plan something together, and he isn’t sure he can do it, with no good excuse as to why, and this is a reoccurring situation- he’s not seriously interested in you.
2) He doesn’t respect your boundaries. It doesn’t matter if it’s from a mental, emotional, moral or sexual standpoint, he needs to respect your wishes and limits. This includes your curfew and schedule.
3) His text messages & phone calls are few and far between. Unless he works a lot of hours, or is physically unable to use a phone, he should try to make contact you with at least once a day.
4) He never offers to help you with your chores or day to day activities.
5) He never offers to help you financially. This can go both ways of course, but a real keeper tries to pick up the bill occasionally when you go out.
6) You feel uneasy about your relationship. You know yourself better than anyone else. Listen to your intuition.
7) He discourages you from spending time with your friends, family, hobby, or at your job. Of course, this doesn’t apply if he’s genuinely watching out for you, and sees a toxic person, activity, or workplace.
8) He’s embarrassed by your health problems and/or feminine hygiene products. If he’s disgusted with any health issues you have, or allergies, or your period- he’s very immature at best case scenario, and not interested in you at worst case.
9) He calls you hot instead of beautiful, arrogant instead of confident, a pushover instead of polite. His words he uses to describe you are demeaning or not kind or compassionate.
10) He forgets a lot of details about you. If you order a half cut sweet tea every time you go out, and he’s finally responsible for ordering for you and he messes it up, that’s a definite red flag.
11) He forgets important dates. Your birthday is important, monthly anniversaries are not!
12) After spending time with him, you feel drained, stressed, anxious or angry.
13) He prioritizes himself before you, or he doesn’t take your wants and needs seriously. If you ask him to stop somewhere for you to use the restroom and he doesn’t take you seriously- that’s a problem.
14) He talks down on you, and plays mind games with you. If after a social event, he tells you that “my great aunt Susan thought your shirt was way too tight, don’t wear that again. It’s embarrassing”- he’s trying to control you. And truly, it’s getting close to verbal/emotional abuse.
15) He actually verbally or physically abuses you. If he shames you for how you look, or hits you, breaks things, or punches walls- he is not someone you need to be close to or alone with.
What would you consider red flags for a bad relationship? Comment below please! Thank you for reading.