There’s always that one person who seems so charismatic, it’s just plain unfair. Everyone naturally gravitates to this one person and it doesn’t even make sense. He’s not necessarily that handsome. She’s not always well traveled. But for some reason, their personality just firmly taps you on the shoulder, wraps its warm arms around your soul, and nudges you over to their growing, captivated crowd. Chances are, you’ll develop some sort of a weird, unexplainable crush on this person. They aren’t your type, yet you can’t get close enough. They confuse and excite your brain.
Wouldn’t it be cool to ‘get’ them for a day? Over the past few years, I’ve paid better attention to these types of people, and taken mental notes. Not only this, but I’ve tried some of these techniques and they actually worked for me! Here they are for your personal (and business related?) uses:
Charismatic people observe, and then use their words wisely.
• They have a tendency to listen to others, think about what’s been said for a moment, let others add to the conversation, and not speak until they have an appropriate response. They know that anticipating what they’ll say next shows on their face, and it’s best to sincerely listen. When they finally speak up, they incorporate what’s just been said, and make it clear they understand the big picture, the hidden gems, and the reasoning in what’s been said. Because they take the time to reflect on what’s been said, they oftentimes catch the Easter eggs in the conversation that everyone else overlooked.
• They use their words as tools to improve the silence; they don’t speak to just push the awkward away. They know they are better off to seem questionably dumb yet quiet, than to open their mouths and confirm their lack of intellect.
• Not only do they think about their words before they use them, they use the right ones too. They know different words have different connotations in different crowds, and they use that to their advantage. They know it’s best to avoid curse words in most situations. They also know it’s best to avoid controversial topics when possible. However, when it’s not possible, they don’t put down the opposing viewers with crass words.
For example, if fascinating Freddie Mae is asked about her take on the upcoming election, she doesn’t call Trump supporters ‘a basket of deplorables’, and she doesn’t call Hillary supporters ‘a box of undesirables’. She is polite and uses respectful words to describe all parties and people. She also doesn’t make broad generalizations, and understands there are always exceptions.
• They never interrupt another person, and always, without a word, sigh, or gesture, allow others to interrupt them. They understand that being interrupted is an opportunity to ponder their words further, and to reveal their real character to those who are paying attention.
Charismatic people tell their stories with wit and passion.
• When craft their stories, they know they need to be brief, yet descriptive. They leave out parts of the story that don’t pertain to the punchline. Especially parts of the story that are boring, *bragging* (seriously, please don’t!), or not relatable to their listeners.
• They know it’s best to only tell a story if it is one they are passionate about. Talking about something you love and live for is like shining a beam of light through a stained glass window with the window being your passion, and the light your personality. It makes you appear to be more intelligent, interesting and passionate about life in general.
• They understand that good personal stories use humor, even if it’s at their own expense. Don’t tell a story if it truly humiliates you, but if you can throw in a friendly jab at yourself, please do so! It makes you that much more relatable.
• They also know that good fortune and talent is unimportant to everyone else. Their audience either knows how good they are (or how much they have) at their thing, or they don’t. Charismatic people understand that passion, ambition, and perseverance are far more important than talent or wealth.
Charismatic people either love or force themselves to learn about otherwise uninteresting things.
• Although it’s best to save your stories for topics you have passion for, it is a good idea to also have broad knowledge for the sake of conversation. Ever heard the saying “it’s better to be a jack of all trades than a master of one”? That’s very relevant when it comes to interacting with people. Understanding a broad, general depth of knowledge is better than only understanding and having confidence in one field. Conversations are meant to flow, like a river- rather than stagnate like a pond.
• Center of the party people have a tendency to love learning. We live in the era of Google, Ted Talks, Podcasts, and overwhelming numbers of blogs. Take the time to peruse and listen to these when you have the time. When you have an “I wonder why” moment, use Google or call someone who knows. There is no excuse in this day and age to not use the tools you are blessed with.
That’s all for me! What have you learned from the fun and exciting people in your life? Share your tips for success with the rest of us please! As always, thank you for reading!